[ he knows she'd been worried about it, probably more so than most, aware of her closeness with newt. in the chaos of it all, trying to save marta from the bomb blasts on the train, confronting newt's possessed body there, and then spending several days of the return trying to make sure they'd get him back without losing him in the process, he hasn't been able to actually properly check in on her, though he'd seen her on the day of the procedure, side by side as kovacs clutched newt's hand and clara returned his glasses to him.
once that was down, the exhaustion really began to set in, and aside from moving his stuff out into a new room, he hasn't made time for much else. ]
It was his face I saw when he did all those things to me on the mission.
His mind I was in when those things broke my arm.
[She hadn't been quite aware of how close Kovacs was with Newt, but she's so grateful that they have one another. With Hermann gone, Newt will need as many close friends as possible. ]
I still have the cuts on my face and the bruises on my throat.
But I know it wasn't Newt that put them there. I can only hope that everyone else realizes that. But to some people here, a betrayal is a betrayal. And that's what has me worried.
[ the broken arm. he remembers that, back from a time when they had still been together, when they'd come back to the station and he'd found her like that, unsure of how it had broken in the first place. had they really been taunting for that long?
he's supposed to have been protecting clara too, his entire deal wrapped around keeping her safe, but all these tricks, these traps, the way the threat has been revealed to have been amongst their own group. it's all proving to be even more complicated to achieve somehow. ]
sometimes when the mind is corrupted like that, it can be too late. i've seen it happened. the people had no hope of coming back.
[ what he doesn't say is how he had to help put a stop to it. ]
but newt wasn't gone. i could tell. even if plenty of people won't see it that way.
[ a pause, and then, ]
i need you to stay away from kirigan for a while.
[ he's not even sure whether she's around him much at all to begin with, but considering the limited number to their group, it wouldn't take much. ]
I don't see him that often so that shouldn't be a problem. I mean, I saw him the other day and he was able to help amplify the magic Sabriel's been teaching me. But I don't plan on making a habit out of it.
Why though, Tak? What happened?
[it's probably nosy to ask, but her uneasiness is escalating. the trust issues she's developed after this mission will pass with time. she knows that. but if Kovacs has reason to tell her to stay away from someone, she knows he doesn't mean it lightly.
there's a very good reason. one that she's going to listen to.]
[ kovacs has always been one to face every scenario with doubt and suspicion, his trust for anyone on this station skeptical for his first month or so, only opening up his willingness to cooperate with the aid of clara who ushered him into the prospects of working more as a team.
he doesn't necessarily blame anyone for having second thoughts now that they'd seen what they'd seen, how newt's mind had been compromised and everyone was placed in danger for it.
but he also knows to put up his own guards now that he's witnessed someone be so quick to react towards taking out one of their own without even weighing the options. ]
he went after newt. while we were keeping him in that room and i was put on watch. before we got those things out of his head.
[Clara's typically spectacular at keeping her thoughts under control. She's not about letting an unfiltered thought process wind up in someone's lap. But when Kovacs tells her this, she's unable to keep her initial reaction under control. Anger burns instant and bright, a raging fire that has a stream of cursing sent through the earpiece to him.
When she realizes it, she forces herself to calm down.]
Then it's even better that you were there to protect him.
I'm not going to leave Newt's side. Not for a while. If anyone else wants a go at him, they'll have to go through me.
[ it's not a surprising reaction. clara's typically the type to get her thoughts known when they're as loud in her head like that. he knows if it came down to it and she saw kirigan in the hall, she'd just as easily go off right at him. ]
i know. no one'll touch him if you're there.
[ and he means that. clara's got plenty of strengths that have little to do with the physical. ]
he ended up helping to get him out in the end but it doesn't change the fact that he was consciously ready to take out one of our own.
i just think he's worth keeping an eye on for a while.
he's worth keeping an eye on for the rest of the time we're here.
him and anyone close to him, that might make excuses for what he tried doing
[It's not that Clara is necessarily a vindictive person. It's not even that she wants trouble with Kirigan. But she definitely is having trouble processing the fact that things have gotten this bad.]
I thought we'd have a bit longer before we started turning on one another.
[ clara's words already give him some concern. him and anyone close to him. he knows she has a point, and he's the first one to make sure to pay attention, to observe any details that would hint at betrayal, at turning on the team.
but he's hesitant to cast judgment so quick either. it would mean labeling suspicion on people like alina or daisy, people he knows from his own experience to have decent intentions.
not that she's wrong. when the pressure's up, when tensions rise and the time comes between salvaging achieving their own deal over keeping another member of the team alive, anyone could spin on their intentions. ]
i'll keep a watch on kirigan and anyone else but make sure not to throw around accusations.
if anyone starts to openly suspect each other, it might make the situation worse than it already is. we need to keep a handle on things now that newt's back to normal. people are tense enough as it is after what happened.
If someone goes after him again, I won't do them the favor of staying quiet about it. I'm not looking to accuse anyone of anything. Particularly if it could hurt Alina.
[And really, that's the only reason she hasn't marched off to go yell at kirigan herself. Her loyalty to Alina and not wanting to cause her anger or upset.]
But I'm not looking to start fights, if that's what you're worried about. Believe it or not, I actually have some semblance of self-control with the things that come out of my mouth. I'm not so stupid or impulsive as to think that making public accusations are going to get anything accomplished.
[There's a long sigh as she switches over so he can hear her voice. She's exhausted and depressed, and a bit irritable on top of that. But no matter how frustrated she is with what's happening around them, he doesn't deserve the brunt of her temper.]
Look, I'm just...really not doing great right now. I promise to be careful, as long as you do the same.
[ there's his own sigh as she switches it over, not annoyed that she has, but feeling a bit more of that weight of her exhaustion once he can hear her. ]
I know. It's — it's been a lot these days.
[ for her, especially, knowing how much she cares about newt, knowing how much she's always trying so hard to keep everyone as safe as they can be, knowing she'd do anything to protect those she cares about.
and for a time — well, they didn't know what would happen to their friend. for all that he's maintained his usual composure, kovacs had been devastated with his own worry for a time. especially after catching his own roommate try to snuff him out. ]
I'll stay on my toes. And I'll keep alert. I promise. [ he means it. after everything, it's hard not to be. ] Just ... get your sleep, alright? I'll switch out with you to stay next to him every once in a while. You don't have to do it alone.
[She promises, sounding dry in response but the sincerity is there if he listens hard enough. He's done enough for her, worries about her enough. She doesn't need to add to that by making him think she isn't taking proper care of herself.]
But if you need anything, you'll reach out, right?
[Sometimes she worries he isn't aware it's a two way street. She's got his back, just the same as he has hers.]
[ he knows that he can likely sound like a hypocrite, with his usual lack of sleep, lack of rest, but he's actually trying to do better about that. quite the lesson for takeshi kovacs — caring for his own well being as much as anybody else's. it might be a first, but — ]
[She's quiet as she lets those last words sink in. He doesn't need to be more specific, she gets the meaning in what this is.]
Together till the end.
[Through all the ups and the downs, their bond has come out on the other side as a solid friendship. Which means that the things that either of them go through, they can rely on one another to get through it.]
I'll talk to you soon, Tak.
[There's a moment of hesitation, where it seems like she might say something else. But then her end of things disconnects. They both need their rest.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ he knows she'd been worried about it, probably more so than most, aware of her closeness with newt. in the chaos of it all, trying to save marta from the bomb blasts on the train, confronting newt's possessed body there, and then spending several days of the return trying to make sure they'd get him back without losing him in the process, he hasn't been able to actually properly check in on her, though he'd seen her on the day of the procedure, side by side as kovacs clutched newt's hand and clara returned his glasses to him.
once that was down, the exhaustion really began to set in, and aside from moving his stuff out into a new room, he hasn't made time for much else. ]
it wasn't his fault.
no subject
It was his face I saw when he did all those things to me on the mission.
His mind I was in when those things broke my arm.
[She hadn't been quite aware of how close Kovacs was with Newt, but she's so grateful that they have one another. With Hermann gone, Newt will need as many close friends as possible. ]
I still have the cuts on my face and the bruises on my throat.
But I know it wasn't Newt that put them there. I can only hope that everyone else realizes that. But to some people here, a betrayal is a betrayal. And that's what has me worried.
no subject
he's supposed to have been protecting clara too, his entire deal wrapped around keeping her safe, but all these tricks, these traps, the way the threat has been revealed to have been amongst their own group. it's all proving to be even more complicated to achieve somehow. ]
sometimes when the mind is corrupted like that, it can be too late.
i've seen it happened. the people had no hope of coming back.
[ what he doesn't say is how he had to help put a stop to it. ]
but newt wasn't gone.
i could tell.
even if plenty of people won't see it that way.
[ a pause, and then, ]
i need you to stay away from kirigan for a while.
[ he's not even sure whether she's around him much at all to begin with, but considering the limited number to their group, it wouldn't take much. ]
no subject
Why though, Tak? What happened?
[it's probably nosy to ask, but her uneasiness is escalating. the trust issues she's developed after this mission will pass with time. she knows that. but if Kovacs has reason to tell her to stay away from someone, she knows he doesn't mean it lightly.
there's a very good reason. one that she's going to listen to.]
no subject
he doesn't necessarily blame anyone for having second thoughts now that they'd seen what they'd seen, how newt's mind had been compromised and everyone was placed in danger for it.
but he also knows to put up his own guards now that he's witnessed someone be so quick to react towards taking out one of their own without even weighing the options. ]
he went after newt.
while we were keeping him in that room and i was put on watch.
before we got those things out of his head.
he was ready to kill him for what happened.
he would've if i didn't stop him.
no subject
When she realizes it, she forces herself to calm down.]
Then it's even better that you were there to protect him.
I'm not going to leave Newt's side. Not for a while. If anyone else wants a go at him, they'll have to go through me.
no subject
i know.
no one'll touch him if you're there.
[ and he means that. clara's got plenty of strengths that have little to do with the physical. ]
he ended up helping to get him out in the end but it doesn't change the fact that he was consciously ready to take out one of our own.
i just think he's worth keeping an eye on for a while.
no subject
him and anyone close to him, that might make excuses for what he tried doing
[It's not that Clara is necessarily a vindictive person. It's not even that she wants trouble with Kirigan. But she definitely is having trouble processing the fact that things have gotten this bad.]
I thought we'd have a bit longer before we started turning on one another.
no subject
[ clara's words already give him some concern. him and anyone close to him. he knows she has a point, and he's the first one to make sure to pay attention, to observe any details that would hint at betrayal, at turning on the team.
but he's hesitant to cast judgment so quick either. it would mean labeling suspicion on people like alina or daisy, people he knows from his own experience to have decent intentions.
not that she's wrong. when the pressure's up, when tensions rise and the time comes between salvaging achieving their own deal over keeping another member of the team alive, anyone could spin on their intentions. ]
i'll keep a watch on kirigan and anyone else
but make sure not to throw around accusations.
if anyone starts to openly suspect each other, it might make the situation worse than it already is.
we need to keep a handle on things now that newt's back to normal.
people are tense enough as it is after what happened.
no subject
[And really, that's the only reason she hasn't marched off to go yell at kirigan herself. Her loyalty to Alina and not wanting to cause her anger or upset.]
But I'm not looking to start fights, if that's what you're worried about. Believe it or not, I actually have some semblance of self-control with the things that come out of my mouth. I'm not so stupid or impulsive as to think that making public accusations are going to get anything accomplished.
no subject
[ is this where it starts? tension between him and clara? that's the last thing he needs. ]
i'm just saying, be careful.
if someone else makes a move, we'll be there to stop it.
i won't let him or you or anyone else get hurt for this.
text -> voice
Look, I'm just...really not doing great right now. I promise to be careful, as long as you do the same.
no subject
I know. It's — it's been a lot these days.
[ for her, especially, knowing how much she cares about newt, knowing how much she's always trying so hard to keep everyone as safe as they can be, knowing she'd do anything to protect those she cares about.
and for a time — well, they didn't know what would happen to their friend. for all that he's maintained his usual composure, kovacs had been devastated with his own worry for a time. especially after catching his own roommate try to snuff him out. ]
I'll stay on my toes. And I'll keep alert. I promise. [ he means it. after everything, it's hard not to be. ] Just ... get your sleep, alright? I'll switch out with you to stay next to him every once in a while. You don't have to do it alone.
no subject
[She promises, sounding dry in response but the sincerity is there if he listens hard enough. He's done enough for her, worries about her enough. She doesn't need to add to that by making him think she isn't taking proper care of herself.]
But if you need anything, you'll reach out, right?
[Sometimes she worries he isn't aware it's a two way street. She's got his back, just the same as he has hers.]
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I will.
[ he means it too. he's trying to do his best. ]
We're — we're in this together.
[ this being more than just newt. ]
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Together till the end.
[Through all the ups and the downs, their bond has come out on the other side as a solid friendship. Which means that the things that either of them go through, they can rely on one another to get through it.]
I'll talk to you soon, Tak.
[There's a moment of hesitation, where it seems like she might say something else. But then her end of things disconnects. They both need their rest.]