[ at this point, she's no longer sure they were even having the same conversation in the first place. anything she had expected him to say was so vastly different from the words that actually come out of his mouth that she's left staring for far longer than is considered polite; even when he meets her eyes again, she hasn't blinked yet.
he gave up his regret.
she's not sure why that's the part that's sticking to her the most right now. they were all here for a reason, a reason important enough to warrant living through missions like scorpion's bend. kovacs has been through three. but if he were able to let himself let his initial regret go just like that, does that mean it wasn't that important to him?
don't be stupid, chimes a voice in her head. her own voice, as honest as the rest of her. it wasn't that the initial regret wasn't important. it's that clara is even more so.
and just like that, it makes sense. of course he'd save her. a heart that big only knows how to speak in selflessness.
slowly, marta half-settles onto the infirmary bed beside her, rumpling up the sheets she'd worked so hard to set tidy just minutes ago. it helps to feel something else other than the ground at her feet. especially when she has a feeling a rug will soon be pulled out from under it.
now she's the one to look away, needing that moment to reset herself.
marta does the math. if this is what's fresh on his mind after his chat with clara, she can only assume that this is what they'd discussed. and if she knows kovacs at all, it's doubtful he'd told clara or anyone else about it, which means he'd had to admit to it just now. and if clara had been the one to ask to speak with him, it's unlikely he had wanted to.
when she looks back to him, her jaw is a little more set. ]
no subject
he gave up his regret.
she's not sure why that's the part that's sticking to her the most right now. they were all here for a reason, a reason important enough to warrant living through missions like scorpion's bend. kovacs has been through three. but if he were able to let himself let his initial regret go just like that, does that mean it wasn't that important to him?
don't be stupid, chimes a voice in her head. her own voice, as honest as the rest of her. it wasn't that the initial regret wasn't important. it's that clara is even more so.
and just like that, it makes sense. of course he'd save her. a heart that big only knows how to speak in selflessness.
slowly, marta half-settles onto the infirmary bed beside her, rumpling up the sheets she'd worked so hard to set tidy just minutes ago. it helps to feel something else other than the ground at her feet. especially when she has a feeling a rug will soon be pulled out from under it.
now she's the one to look away, needing that moment to reset herself.
marta does the math. if this is what's fresh on his mind after his chat with clara, she can only assume that this is what they'd discussed. and if she knows kovacs at all, it's doubtful he'd told clara or anyone else about it, which means he'd had to admit to it just now. and if clara had been the one to ask to speak with him, it's unlikely he had wanted to.
when she looks back to him, her jaw is a little more set. ]
Are you alright?