[ kovacs' immediate thought is "of course I had to" though he resists enough not to say exactly that, always hesitant to voice too much in the way of emotions. because technically he didn't, and if he'd listened to himself a year ago, he'd never had let himself get so attached to people here and whether newt lived or died wouldn't have mattered to him one way or another.
but it does matter. newt matters. ]
because I knew you wouldn't have been as pissed off about it as you should've been.
[ as pissed off as he was. ]
because you'd blame yourself. maybe even say some shit like how you deserve it or something.
I said I'd keep you safe so I did. keeping him away from you was my job. you just needed to focus on getting better.
no subject
but it does matter. newt matters. ]
because I knew you wouldn't have been as pissed off about it as you should've been.
[ as pissed off as he was. ]
because you'd blame yourself.
maybe even say some shit like how you deserve it or something.
I said I'd keep you safe so I did.
keeping him away from you was my job.
you just needed to focus on getting better.